In the midst of the upheaval that was taking place in Paris parents did not find it easy to attend to their children's education, or to select their teachers.
It was my mother's companion Mademoiselle de Lannoy who acted as my governess. She belonged to a good family, Was well educated and considerably gifted along certain lines. Her lessons should have proved useful to me. Unfortunately, her attention was principally absorbed by political matters.
The decree forbidding members of the nobility to hold military commands obliged my father to resign from the Army of the Rhine where he had succeeded Monsieur de Custine as commander-in-chief.
He withdrew to his estate at La Ferté Beauharnais where, after a short time he was placed under arrest and brought back to the prison of the Carmelites in Paris.
My mother, although she went to see all the persons who had helped her in the case of Mademoiselle de Bethisy, was unable even to learn the reasons for his imprisonment. In fact her steps in his behalf resulted in her own arrest, and the only favor she was able to secure was that of being confined in the same prison as her husband.
What intense grief we felt the morning we were told that she had entered our room to bid us farewell. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She had not wished our slumber to be disturbed. "Let them sleep," she said to our governess. "I could not bear the sight of their sorrow. I would not have the strength to part from them."
Ah, how tragic an awakening we had! We were alone, separated from both our parents.
This was my first encounter with unhappiness. My brother Eugene in spite of his youth possessed already that energy which is part of a courageous nature. His longing to see our parents was so intense that he was convinced he could make his wish come true.
He hurried off to see Tallien and inform him of our misfortune. I waited impatiently to learn the outcome of the interview. It seemed impossible to me that anyone could resist my brother's eloquence. But, alas, he who had helped us before was no longer in a position to do so.
Under the menace of terror men's hearts had frozen and become inaccessible to the appeal of justice and pity.
Innocence deprived of all her defenders was left to perish. How true it is that our earliest impressions mark our nature with an indelible stamp and frequently produce beneficial results.
The thought of the joy I should have felt on this occasion had my petition been favorably received as what aroused in me a longing to comfort, protect and befriend all those in affliction, in other words that impulse to do good which is the only thing that makes power and position worth having.
Our principal interest now became the daily package we sent the prisoners, in which we included whatever articles they might be in need of. Entrance to their prison was forbidden us. After a short time, we were not allowed to correspond with them.
To replace our letters, we added to the list of articles included in the package the phrase, "Your children are in good health."
The gatekeeper, however, was harsh enough to rub out this remark. In order to circumvent him we took turns in copying the list so that the sight of our two handwritings might assure our parents we were both still alive. About this time a law passed that all children of noble birth must learn a trade.
Therèse Tallien
My brother, in spite of our governess's despair, chose that of a carpenter. Mademoiselle de Lannoy was constantly criticizing the republican form of government; she laid claim to a title at a time when everyone else was concealing his and declared about everything that took place, "A thing like that would never have been allowed to happen under the old regime."
Nevertheless, for the sake of our parents she allowed Eugene to go to the carpenter who was nearby and take lessons. His teacher was an ardent Jacobin who with pride displayed as trophy a hammer belonging to Louis XVI which he had acquired at the sack of the Palace of the Tuileries. With him lived two sisters, former nuns, who were as subdued in their manner as he was violent.
In spite of his political views the carpenter was always polite to my brother, and the two sisters used to give Eugene secretly little images of the Virgin and the Saints which he brought delightedly home to me as rewards he had received for his good work.
Although we were no longer living with the Princess de Hohenzollern, we went to see her every Sunday. Her brother had been arrested at the same time as our father. In her loneliness and worry she welcomed our presence as a relief. To us, in our isolation, she was a moral support.
