Let’s have another look at Hortense’s Memoirs. If you want to read the book it is available for free at the side bar in English and French. Use the widget on the sidebar to translate the text below into pretty much any language.
Napoleon tries to have some fun with Hortense by going incognito and they end up in front of a lineup of wax figures supposedly of themselves that bear no resemblance to them.
Hortense’s memoirs continues:
After my husband had left for Holland, I remained at Saint Cloud. One day after dinner the Emperor said to me: "Go and put on your simplest gown and hat. Take your lady in waiting with you, and we shall pay a visit to the Saint Cloud fair."
The Empress had a headache and did not care to accompany us. I hastened back quickly to the drawing-room, but my Dutch lady in waiting took so long to change her dress that the Emperor grew tired of waiting for her, and we set out alone on foot.
The Emperor gave me his arm. The aide-de-camp General Bertrand, who happened to be on duty, walked beside us. We soon reached the main alley of the park which formed the center of the fair.
We kept some distance from the different booths in order not to be recognized, for whenever a crowd caught sight of the Emperor he would be surrounded amid cheers.
This obliged him to hurry back to the palace. Often, we saw him returning from a little walk almost carried shoulder-high by a mob and swearing that he would never be caught again.
On this particular occasion as he had a lady with him no one paid any attention to him. Moreover, night was coming on. The throng pushed its way toward the gates. We meanwhile continued to look at the sights of the fair.
The voiture nomade caught our eye, and being out to see the sights we took the opportunity to investigate it. While General Bertrand was paying for our admission the Emperor began talking to the showman regarding the usefulness of his machine and embarrassed him greatly by the directness of some of his questions.
When we came out the crowd jostled us so violently that the Emperor was worried about me. He hastened to drag me into the first show-booth we came across. It happened to be a tent containing an exhibition of wax figures representing the signing of the Peace-Treaty at Tilsit.
Around a large table were seated figures representing the Emperor of Russia and Emperor Napoleon. In addition to these, and for what reason I cannot tell, there had been added figures of the entire imperial family, which had probably been used on other occasions, while the Sleeping Beauty reclined in one corner. There was hardly anyone present to admire all these masterpieces; nevertheless, the showman delivered his usual lecture, and we heard ourselves described one after the other.
We were about to leave when we noticed that General Bertrand had not come into the tent with us. The crowd had separated us from him, and as neither the Emperor nor I ever had any money with us we both were much embarrassed.
The situation struck me as so odd and amusing that I could not restrain my mirth, and my amusement increased the Emperor's embarrassed manner. The more uncomfortable he looked the more I wanted to laugh.
There was nothing to be done but wait patiently for General Bertrand to find us. In order to pass the time, we examined rather more closely the waxworks. I questioned the man in charge about each of the different portraits.
He assured us they were all excellent resemblances and particularly praised that of the Queen of Holland, which seemed to have a particular attraction for me. It was true the complexion was delicately colored and the face quite charming. Indeed, I must confess that he had given my name to the most attractive of his wax figures.
Nevertheless, the way her hair was done showed such a lack of taste that I felt rather ashamed. I ventured to advise the showman to change the position of a string of pearls that fell over one eye and gave her a far from refined expression.
As a result of my comments he set about adjusting her coiffure according to my indications, and did so with such gravity that the Emperor was not able to keep serious over what he called a piece of feminine vanity on my part. Even the showman himself began to laugh. But it was time for our fun to cease as the Emperor began to be rather impatient.
If General Bertrand did not put in an appearance it was evident that we should be obliged to reveal our identity in order to escape from our predicament. Before doing so, however, I had the idea of standing by the door where the General could see me from a distance.
I was less likely to be recognized than the Emperor. The General finally did catch sight of me. He had been looking for us anxiously everywhere. He hurried up, all out of breath, and allowed us to make our escape. We hastened to return home and amused the Empress greatly by our account of our adventures. Such moments of merriment, however, were rare indeed, and I had still difficulty in escaping my worries and fortifying my health, which continued to decline. The court moved to Fontainebleau.
The original French is available below:
