Let’s have another look at Hortense’s Memoirs. If you want to read the book it is available for free at the side bar in English and French. Use the widget on the sidebar to translate the text below into pretty much any language.
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In this excerpt, we see a virtuous woman endure relentless torment. Through patient compliance, the abuse only escalates. Louis accuses Hortense of doing to him what he is actually doing to her. The spiritual reality behind abuse is especially obvious in the passage below.
Hortense’s memoirs continues:
I do not know if he appreciated my behavior and my refusal to make public my just cause for complaint. At all events he inflicted a new form of torture on me. One evening he came up the secret stairway that connected his room with mine and gave me to understand that my life and my reputation were in his hands.
“I love you," he declared. "You know that. But I am ashamed to be obliged to pass as my wife's discarded lover. Let us set an example of perfect harmony, of complete domestic happiness. Then you will find me again at your knees. But you, on your part, whenever we are in public must give demonstrative signs of your affection for me. A woman's honesty is judged by the degree in which she adores her husband."
“I cannot deceive you," I replied. "I do not know what the outward signs of a wife's love for her husband may be. I shall never behave other than seems suitable to me. As far as my affection for you is concerned you have crushed it. I am far from my country, my family, my friends. You are all I have. Be kind to me and I will love you, but one cannot in a day forget what one has suffered. Be a father to me. I need one. Give me a little sincere affection, and my heart will respond."
I thought my words had touched him, for he exclaimed "Ah, Hortense, if you only loved me, you would be perfect. We can still be happy together if you only wish it. I long to be reconciled with you but only on one condition: you must confess to me the wrongs you have committed." I began to smile.
“My goodness," I answered, "if I did not commit any it was not your fault. It was because I enjoyed having a clear conscience."
“I am sure of it," he replied. "Tell me all and I will forgive you." For an entire month he not only wrote me by day, but he also disturbed my slumbers at night, repeating constantly the same thing. He would come in through a little door which opened on my alcove and which I had not dared lock for fear of arousing his suspicions, and wake me up suddenly.
I found myself obliged to listen to all his lamentations. He became more and more despondent; I did not know what to do. I was so worn out and unstrung that I was obliged to ask him to postpone the rest of the discussion till the following day. He would do so and return with more of the same reproaches.
“You have made me the unhappiest man in all the world," he said. "I firmly wish to be reconciled and know the truth. Otherwise we will separate forever. I am writing my brother that I am prepared to give up everything. I cannot live with a person who makes me suffer so. You will end by killing me and have that on your conscience. It is grief that is making me ill. You are destroying my health."
“What am I to do?" I cried, with tears running down my cheeks. "After all your reproaches if I have done wrong, I should admit it. Look at me closely. Truth is something one can see. Do you find in my expression that embarrassment which denotes the criminal?"
Nothing could satisfy him. He adopted another line of conduct and one day came to me in triumph. "You refuse to confess anything. Very well. I tell you I now know all and have proofs of your guilt."
“That cannot be true," I replied firmly and without pausing to weigh my words. "One cannot have proofs of events which never occurred. If I were guilty, your trick might succeed, but it is disgraceful for you to invent such a tale." He remained motionless and did not say a word.
Nevertheless, he kept constantly coming back to the idea that such absolute virtue could not possibly exist. More exhausted than I can say by this constantly renewed persecution, I became like one of those unfortunates who on the rack make a false confession in order to escape further agony. I conceived the idea of making up some story that would put an end to this state of things and cause my husband to leave me alone.
I was only embarrassed as to the name of my accomplice. I could not deliberately inflict my husband's hatred on someone and I wished to choose a person who was no longer alive. Adele was no longer with me. I confided my plan to Madame de Boubers, who for a long time had been a witness of my misfortunes.
She protested against my doing such a thing, and finally made me promise that I would not carry out my plan. At last my husband, worn out by his useless efforts, appeared one day with a peace-treaty which he wished us to sign. He promised that if I did so he would make me happy; if I refused, he would complain of my conduct to the Emperor in the strongest terms. I asked him to leave me this document in order to give me an opportunity to answer each clause separately. Here it is. I have always kept a copy of it.
We, Louis and Hortense, desire to put an end to the state of mental discomfort and constraint in which we both have been living for a long time and we consider that our mutual enmity since our marriage has been due to the fact that we married before we had come to care for each other. Desiring to find a means by which we may hereafter live happily and profit by the experience of the last five years, we have resolved to observe the resolutions set forth in the present private deed to which we have apposed our signatures. We each of us swear and promise before God to fulfil all the conditions set forth herewith:
Paragraph 1 :—It is agreed that all mistakes, errors and faults of whatever nature they may have been which may have been committed by either of us in the past, and which may have been prejudicial to the other, are hereby annulled, forgiven and canceled ; and it is forbidden to refer in any way to the unhappy past.
Paragraph 2 :—We promise henceforth to cherish one another, not merely because we are husband and wife but of our own free will, and as though we had chosen each other free from any constraint. We promise not to separate under any pretext nor ask to do so. Should such a request be made, the other party shall refuse to accede to it. We shall prefer each other to any or all members of our respective families. Lastly, we shall show both in public and private our mutual love and confidence.
Paragraph 3 :—We promise on our honor not to correspond, I, Louis Bonaparte, with any woman, without the Queen's permission and I, Hortense, with any man, without my husband's permission, and this without any further explanation but out of a spirit of reciprocity.
Paragraph 4 :—We both promise to unite our efforts and to make common cause to keep the guardianship of our children and not allow them to be adopted by the Emperor or the Empress.
Paragraph 5 :—We promise never to disagree in public and to make all our demands on one another when we are alone together.
Paragraph 6 :—We solemnly promise on our honor to receive no visitor and to go nowhere ourselves without having informed the other party in this agreement of the fact. And we further promise, I, Louis, not to receive any woman and I, Hortense, not to receive any man or any woman without my husband's permission.
Paragraph 7 :—We promise that the arrangement of our apartments and the choice of our attendants shall be such as is mutually agreeable and that nothing shall be done until both parties have agreed upon it. We will examine and discuss together the arrangements that already exist.
Paragraph 8 :—We promise to have only one purse, that is to say that Hortense shall have no private funds of her own, and that no correspondence about business matters is to be carried on by the Queen without the King's consent.
By performing and carrying out the above conditions in a loyal and scrupulous manner we hope to live as respectable and honorable people. And in order to confirm our reconciliation we hereby promise solemnly to live entirely for one another and for our two children. - (Signed) Louis.
This is the reply that I wrote in the margin of Louis' contract:
"I cannot sign this agreement because I refuse to deceive you, and it is impossible for me to carry out the points specified in it. "According to the first paragraph I must forget the wrongs that have been done to me. I can do my best to achieve this, but it is not in a single day that one can wipe out so many years of unhappiness.
Moreover, my ability to forget the past depends entirely on your behavior towards me. If you show that you admire and trust me it will be possible for me to care for you again.
“As regards paragraph 2 you have not made me so happy that you can take the place of my entire family. The latter consists of the Emperor, whom I have always considered as my father, the Empress and my brother. I shall take advantage of every opportunity that occurs to be near them.
“As for paragraph 3, how can you expect me to write to my family only when you allow me to do so? As far as other persons are concerned, I agree readily enough.
“Paragraph 4 :—You have the right to appoint and dismiss all the persons who belong to my household. I have never appointed anyone without your approval. But I shall never approve of the dismissal of anyone who has done nothing wrong.
“Paragraph 5 :— My hopes and my happiness consist in having my children with me. But God is master of their fate and it is for Him to decide what that fate shall be.
“Paragraph 6 is easy enough to fulfil.
"Paragraphs 7 and 8 show how little confidence you have in me. It would, however, be easy enough to conform to them, disagreeable as it is to realize that they are prompted by suspicions.
The above indicates my point of view, which is totally different from yours. If all these discussions are painful it is because they lead nowhere and because I have lost all hope of finding a solution. You demand immediately something that only time can give and especially that frankness and confidence which you have never shown me. Nevertheless, you may be sure that whatever may be your behavior toward me my friendship for you will always continue, and that the father of my children can never become indifferent to me.
HORTENSE.
April 16, 1807.
How could the King ask me to make a promise he knew I would not keep? Was it possible for me to declare that I should no longer wish to write to my family, or see my brother if he returned to France? Louis was master of my fate, he could take steps to prevent me from doing these things, but he could not make me consent to his doing so. In spite of this I was forced to submit to all the Emperor's reproaches when he received the letter in which my husband complained that I was making him miserable.
The King was ill for two days. I did not leave his side for a moment. He must have noticed my spontaneous and zealous care. He seemed to be touched by it, but his first expression of tenderness revealed again a desire to find me at fault. The fact that he was unable to do this seemed to embitter him, and I felt that he was saying to himself: "How I could love you and how happy I would be if only you were guilty”. I was extremely discouraged; all hope of happiness had fled. Thinking to make someone else happy I still persisted in my attempts to achieve this purpose. How many times have I stifled a complaint or a sigh in order not to shame the man to whom I had vowed obedience!
I so wanted to make him happy in spite of his natural melancholy. I struggled to modify his nature and I fed my foolish hopes on my incessant and constantly vain efforts. It was as though I considered that I possessed more than human powers. Then too how often, when aroused by the keenness of my pain and fired by my love for what is good, did I exclaim enthusiastically: "I suffer bitterly. What does that matter? I welcome suffering, for it makes one better."
The original French is available below:
