Why do I keep calling Elvis Costello Koand?

For anyone new here, I’d like to clarify. I’m in a very weird position and it is difficult to explain as it sounds so outlandish. What can you do if one’s genuine reality is utterly bizarre? Anyway. To me, Elvis Costello is just a small part of this incredible person whom I have finally had to face is a whole lot more than that to me personally. I thought I was just a love struck (sometimes bitter) fan - and I was - but I was not aware that there is a lot of HISTORY between us. While calling this person Koand - King of America Napoleon Dynamite - may sound a bit silly, it’s the closest name I have to describe accurately what is going on. It is a great mystery what is happening and I advise people to watch this story closely as it is most certainly true and it probably will continue to change the world for the better.