It’s a specter when you can’t sleep. It’s your every dream. It’s the answer to your prayers. It’s your heart’s desire. It’s a voice in the dark. I didn’t know someone else living could hear it too. I thought I was alone in this but apparently I wasn’t. I did feel love for this flamboyantly playboy musician but of course there was no way and if there were he would do nothing but hurt me. It’s been anguish for a long time. Now I’m wondering how much all of this - our pursuit of fame - has been our attempt to find each other again. I only got into photography because that Hasselblad like the one on the cover of This Year’s Model fell into my hands. Then I became a celebrity photographer - a world I found exciting but loathsome - only to try and reach him but his management stopped me - not that I could’ve even reached him then anyway. I saw how the publicists and handlers lock the the “celebrities” away from the rest of us. How much of this project has been about me trying to get us back together without even realizing it? I’ve done nothing but follow my guidance. I’m sorry to anyone I have hurt but that is the truth. I only fight his enemies because they are his enemies but I agree with what I’m am doing. Someone needs to finally stand up to them.
Now my hands are dirty but I don’t really have any other goal - besides finding you again. I will find you or I will die trying you find you. This feeling is nothing new to me. It’s always with me.
