There I didn’t really believe the tv, even as a child. By the time I was a teenager, if tv promoted it I reflexively couldn’t trust it.
I wanted to be a published author and I wrote interesting books but I could not move forward with that because everyone told me the problem was my lack of connections. So I tried to connect with them. I ended up abused a lot until I finally realized they were never going to help me as helping me would get in the way of their ability to abuse me.
In my 20s, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my Napoleon plays or really anything I did to catch on. Then I went to learn film making. I wrote scripts. I tried everything to succeed. I was told it was because I didn’t have celebrities in my works. Nothing sells without celebrities.
So I became a celebrity photographer and I was disgusted with myself. Finally by 2008, the system spit me out again and I gave up and became a grease monkey. All that time trying to learn to fix vehicles, made me reflect on how there was absolutely nothing I can do to succeed under this rulership. It’s fixed. It wasn’t me, my lack of effort or my lack of anything. I feel that I have proven that at least to myself by now.
Why will some do
Anything for power?
Why will some do anything for truth?
Why are our interests so in opposition to each other?
It’s not about me.