Hortense explique pourquoi elle ne devrait pas avoir à tolérer quelqu'un qui la maltraite.

Mieux vaut mourir debout que vivre à genoux.

At a certain point, I realized that dealing with liars and abusers was unintelligent and that despite the guilt trips they dole out, there probably is a way to live free from being exploited. Hortense was dealing with the same questions when she was being pressured to rejoin her abusive husband Louis.
Napoleon had always told Hortense that she should’ve found a way to control and dominate him somehow. Napoleon knew better than anyone that his brother Louis was really a weak person. She just wanted to stay away from him. The main conflict between Hortense and Napoleon concerned Napoleon’s persistent wish that she return to Louis.

Hortense writes here as well in her memoirs, that she was so unhappy with Louis that she was half heartedly baiting the English into capturing her so she could get away from her husband without being accused and blamed as a bad person for wanting her abuse from Louis to end. This project is about the right to not be abused by anyone.

It was the recipient of this letter, Eugene de Beauharnais, who eventually compelled Hortense to return to Louis. Such is the pressure that victims of abuse endure.

CHAPTER VII

CONJUGAL SADNESSES AND FAMILY CONSOLATIONS The disputes between Louis and Hortense are only getting worse. Eugène is always the good brother who receives confidences and consoles.
His sister escaped, however, for a time from her terrible husband. She stays in France after the birth of her third son, the one who will be Napoleon III, and she lives most of the time with her mother, in Paris, at Malmaison, at Saint-Cloud and finally, during the first part of the campaign of 1809, at Strasbourg and Plombières where Joséphine and her daughter await the return of the Emperor.
…

[Saint-Cloud], this 2nd of September [1808].
I received your letter, my dear Eugène, and I feel very much that the distance is a very annoying thing which one can no longer endure. You have cause for what you tell me: people will blame me for staying so long away from my husband (1). But judging my

…

(1) After the birth of the prince Louis-Napoléon (Napoleon III), the Queen stayed in Paris, despite the discontent of Louis. He had returned to La Haye the 23th of September, 1807. Louis had wanted Hortense to return to him but the obstetrician said that Hortense wasn’t well enough to travel.
…

position: first, for the moment, my health is still too bad, it improves though from the little happiness I have had so far and I was so tormented during the birth that I do not know how my milk has passed. (?)

I can’t eat anything yet and I have kidney problems, especially when it’s moist out, which makes me suffer a lot. I absolutely need to take the waters, but it is too late to go there this year.
My children are healthy, but they are delicate; they need great care; the doctors assure me that the climate of Holland is contrary to them; I have had a fatal experience.
What do you want me to do? I cannot decide to run the risk of losing them. If the King was as he should be for me, I would leave them here until an age when they would be strong enough and I would go to Holland.
I am able to make all the sacrifices to do my duty, I have already proven it. But what duty do I have to fulfill with someone who treats me so unworthily?
As long as it was only jealousy, mistrust, one could endure it as long as no one but me knew about it.
But, when one is King, one does not hide it any more and when one looks at his wife as an enemy that one seeks to cast as evil, one succeeds because one has all the means.
Last year, I only felt it too much.

The Emperor was far away, and I was made to pay the price for the warmth and justice he had rendered me upon occasion.
Believe me, my dear Eugène, if I return to Holland how it was for me, I will be despised, because when you lock someone up, you don't see what they're doing to that person who is being called bad and is said to be loved by a “worthy” man who deserves praise like the King does, who (I am too fair not to say it) seeks to do good for the country, certainly, my dear Eugène, this is the problem.
I will tell you even more: in France, they would believe it too and perhaps even, the Emperor would hear the evil that people would say of me and he’d believe it.

Did I not receive a letter from him from Tilsit where he said to me: "My daughter, you must yield to her husband, even on things where you would have rights (1).
My God! What were we arguing about? It was like I was in a fortified castle, not even seeing a cat.
Do you want me to tell you how unhappy I was? You may laugh at it, but I can show you to what I was reduced to.

I made little trips every day so that the English would make a small descent and that they could make me prisoner; I assure you that, mechanically, I would always go for a walk on the sea side.
I said to myself: "If the English take me, what will they do to me?" Let them put me in a tower, they won't let me miss anything; I can be myself and, at least, I will be in peace. I beg you to believe that my children were not

…

(1) The Queen alludes to a letter from the Emperor, dated, not from Tilsit, but from Finkenstein on May 2, 1807, or he said to his sister in law, writing about Louis: "You will find complete happiness when you sacrifice everything, even what appears to be your rights, to him for it to be pleasant,". (Memoirs of Queen Hortense, loc. Cit., I, 361).

…

part of this absurd thinking and I had to be very unhappy to wish to part with them( (1).
Finally, now the King is so angry that I have been too sick to go to back to Holland that he no longer writes to me and that he has no desire to see me; at least that’s what he says.

I spoke to the Emperor who was very good to me (2).
He told me to wait; that, when the King would say to come, I would have to make my conditions with him, and, if it were bad for me, to come back; but, for that, it is necessary to have an independent existence and fortune and I have nothing like that.

When I was unhappy, unless I did like Madame de Laturbie or asked for shelter from the first bystander, wouid I even have a carriage to return to France, and if someone wanted to lend me one, did I have enough to reward him for the harm they would have done to that person?

My position is more impossible than you can perceive.

I was born to be a good woman, and the world will judge me as evil.

If I go to Holland, that will be everyone and, if I stay here, at least the people who see me here will do me justice and see that my happiness arises from doing good.
…

(1) The Queen Hortense says in her Memoirs, loc. cit., 1, 278: “I developed a preference for walking in the dunes. I had seen from afar some large English vessels which, no doubt, were smuggling. I left my carriage on the main road.
Alone with my ladies, I approached the sea and seemed to expose myself by thus placing myself within the reach of our enemies. I figured that, if they captured me, they would put me in a tower, but that I would have books, pencils and that at least I could breathe.”

(2) Napoléon, on his return from Bayonne, had arrived at Saint-Cloud the 14th of August 1808.

…

As for the Dutch, they cannot love me; it would be enough should they turn to me for some grace to never obtain it. There are unfortunates: the King rescued them, but the name of the Queen could never be next to his when he did good.

We are much more guilty when we are believed to be capable of doing good when we do not do it, in being blamed for being far away, the Dutch can only can criticize me for appearing not to love them and for showing preference to France.
To them I will answer: The French have known me since I was born; if someone says bad things about me, I’ll have advocates in France that I won’t have elsewhere.
As for my children, one will be king of Holland, the other will have nothing at all; but the Emperor is good to them and will protect them, I hope; that's my whole ambition.
Then let my dear Eugène not blame me. No, let him remember that when you have suffered six years with courage, there comes a time and an age when you no longer have the strength.
Besides, I am sure that if you were close to me, you would advise me what I should do. This separation hurts me, being able to share my grief with you and knowing that you care makes me very happy because it shows me the attachment you feel for me.
I kiss you tenderly. My little boy (1). has been vaccinated; he came to see the Emperor for the first time yesterday.

HORTENSE.

…
(1) The future Napoleon III.

…

À un certain moment, j'ai réalisé que traiter avec des menteurs et des agresseurs était inintelligent et qu'en dépit des voyages de culpabilité qu'ils faisaient, il y avait probablement un moyen de vivre sans être exploités.
Hortense faisait face aux mêmes questions lorsqu'elle subissait des pressions pour rejoindre son mari cruel, Louis.

Napoléon avait toujours dit à Hortense qu'elle aurait dû trouver un moyen de le contrôler et de le dominer d'une manière ou d'une autre. Napoléon savait mieux que quiconque que son frère Louis était vraiment une personne faible.
Elle voulait juste rester loin de lui. Le principal conflit entre Hortense et Napoléon concernait le souhait persistant de Napoléon de retourner à Louis.
Hortense écrit ici aussi dans ses mémoires, qu'elle était si mécontente de Louis qu'elle incitait à moitié les Anglais à la capturer afin qu'elle puisse s'éloigner de son mari sans être accusée et blâmée d'être une mauvaise personne pour avoir voulu qu'elle soit pas maltraitée.

Ce projet concerne le droit de ne pas être abusé par qui que ce soit. C'est le destinataire de cette lettre, Eugène de Beauharnais, qui a finalement contraint Hortense à retourner à Louis.
Telle est la pression que subissent les victimes d'abus.